Frequently Asked Questions
What is Collaborative Divorce?
Collaborative Divorce, like mediation, is another way for divorcing couples to resolve their disputes fairly and respectfully without going to Court. Unlike mediation, the parties in the collaborative process are represented by attorneys. When necessary, other professionals, such as child specialists, divorce coaches or financial experts, may be brought in as part of the Team. The process is open and less adversarial. The parties sit down with each other and their attorneys in “four-way” meetings, where the goals are to enhance communication, fairly resolve the issues, and lay the foundation for a healthier relationship after the divorce. The post-divorce relationship is especially important for couples with young children. While the roles of husband and wife may come to an end, the role of parenting goes on forever.
What is Divorce Mediation?
Mediation is a process in which the parties seek to resolve the issues between them with the assistance of neutral, specially trained professional, call a Mediator. The Mediator does not provide legal advice or make decisions on the various divorce issues, such as custody, alimony, distribution of property and the like. Rather, the Mediator helps to facilitate communication between the parties so they can make those decisions in a respectful and fair manner, without Court intervention.
How long does it take to get Divorced using Mediation?
That depends on how many issues there are to resolve and how well the parties cooperate. Typically, the parties meet with the Mediator once a week for sessions ranging from one to two hours. Once all of the issues are agreed upon, the Mediator will prepare a Memorandum of Understanding, which is used to prepare the Property Settlement Agreement and Final Order for Divorce. Mediation of all issues (i.e., custody, alimony, distribution of property) may take several weeks or several months. Either way, the time and expense are usually dramatically less than litigation.
What are the roles of the other Professionals in the Collaborative Divorce process?
Other professionals may become part of the Collaborative Team if the parties feel it would benefit them with respect to communication, parenting plans and/or financial decisions. Those professionals include: Divorce Coaches; Child Specialists; and, Financial Specialists. In sum:
Divorce Coaches can help couples clarify how they feel about issues, develop a parenting plan, and teach them how to better protect their children from the risks associated divorce.
Child Specialists are neutral, third-parties who try to understand the situation from the perspective of the children. They give the children a voice by relaying to the parents questions, problems or worries that may go unrecognized in light of the emotional, psychological and financial upheaval brought on by the divorce.
Financial Specialist are neutral third-parties who help the divorcing spouses handle immediate financial concerns, as well as long-range planning. When the financial information is understood and organized by the parties, a final settlement can reached more quickly and efficiently.
What are the benefits of Mediation and Collaboration Divorce over Litigation?
- Far more efficient and productive, which lead to substantial savings in time and money.
-
Much healthier for the children involved. By resolving the issues with respect and keeping the focus on the future, as well as giving children a voice in the process, you can alleviate the potential of future trauma that sometimes persist throughout that child’s entire life, and even into other generations.
-
Much less stress, anxiety and long term damage than an adversarial process where the goal is to “win” by blaming, accusing and humiliating each other. The adversarial process embedded in our judicial system may be well suited for business disputes, but it makes little sense when applied to a family.
-
The spouses control the process and the outcome. The spouses, not a Judge, decide what is best for their future and the future of their children. Settlements reached by mutual agreement stay in tact far longer then ones imposed upon the parties, where post-divorce motions and court proceedings are commonplace.
- The family issues remain private.
[back to top]
